Have you ever wondered what family, friends and loved ones would say and how they would remember you once you’re gone? - I have…I went to a memorial service recently and was really moved by the stories each family member shared. It got me thinking - what will my family, friends, and loved ones say about me when I’m gone?
That question stuck with me all night. I couldn’t sleep. My mind just kept going over it.When I finally did fall asleep, I had a dream - more like a nightmare—about what people might say at my memorial service. The nightmare went like this:
They’ll say,
“He was dependable.”
Like that’s the pinnacle of a life well-lived. Like showing up early and dying late is a badge worth wearing in the casket.
They’ll say,
“He worked hard.”
Like it explains everything. Like it excuses everything. Like it redeems the fact that nobody really knew me.Yeah, I was busy.
Too busy.
Too busy building someone else’s dream while mine gathered dust and doubt.
Too busy answering emails at midnight, checking Teams and Slack like they held salvation, treating burnout like a lifestyle, and loneliness like a fair trade for a little praise.
But let me ask you something:
When did “He was always available” become a synonym for “He was loved?”
When did “He never missed a deadline” start meaning “He mattered.”
I used to think if I just kept grinding, if I just kept saying yes, they’d finally see me.
Really see me.
But the truth is...
You can disappear one task at a time— and no one notices until your desk is clean and your chair stops spinning.
They’ll say, I was a “team player.”
But they won’t say how many nights I came home to silence.
How many dinners I skipped just to feel like I belonged somewhere.
How many times I asked myself, “If I stopped showing up… Would anyone come looking?”
I don’t want my memorial to sound like a LinkedIn post.
I don’t want the highlight reel to be bullet points and polite applause from people who only knew my out-of-office reply.
I want someone to stand up
and say—
“He felt everything too deeply.”
"He called when it wasn’t convenient."
"He made space for your silence."
"He laughed like he wasn’t afraid anymore.”
I want to be remembered not for how many hours I gave— but how much of my heart I left behind.
Because listen— You can work yourself to death and still die a stranger.
And maybe...
Just maybe I’ve got just enough time left to make sure that’s not how my story ends. 🙏
Time to focus on the things that truly matter!
